by Maria Koropecky, Homespunspa owner
How do you like your eggs? Your answer may say a little something about your lifestyle, attitude and your sleep.
Today I thought I’d lighten things up with a cheaky eggspose and write about eggs and bring some yokey yellow to the January blues.
Without further adieu, let’s get cracking. Here is a list of a dozen egg dishes for you to eggsplore.
If you prefer your eggs:
- Poached — The word “coddled” comes to mind. So does “soft-in-the-middle” like in Paul Simon’s song, “You can call me Al.” Life is easy for you. You have a gentle nature and rarely lose your temper. You’re a regular at the local day spa because you love the mani’s and pedi’s. And breaking a nail means you’ve over-eggzerted yourself. But before you get spoiled from all of this pampering, I suggest turning the tables and returning the favour to someone else. Maybe open your own spa?
- Egg-Salad Sandwich — What could be better than boiled eggs mixed with mayo, celery, and green onion nestled between two pieces of white bread? The mayo, which adds extra eggy goodness, binds all of the ingredients together making sure everyone is together and tucked in under the covers. There’s lots of eggstra stuff on the bed like pillows and pets, but you don’t mind, the more the merrier. Your happy family is snug as a bug in a rug.
- Sunny-Side-Up — Obviously, you’re the glass is half-full type. Your positive attitude makes sleeping at night a breeze. You enjoy fun-filled flying dreams and haven’t had a nightmare in ages. You wake up refreshed and optimistic. However, since fast-frying is the quickest way to cook an egg and you have no time for fussing with any extra techniques, the down-side is, you may be a little impatient.
- Hard Boiled — I hate to break it to you but you’re a bit of a curmudgeon. You’re a stubborn yet immensely practical know-it-all. You sleep like a rock on the firmest mattress between crisp, clean, ironed, white, 5-star-hotel sheets. Maybe you should consider learning some new relaxation techniques and get a massage every now and then.
- Omelette — I recently watched the late Julia Child make omelettes on tv and it was hilarious. She jokingly said she’d give the one with the liver to her mother-in-law. With all of the egg flips, the omelette station that she set up was a circus act and that’s why I think the omelette lovers are the comedy geniuses of this group. Underneath that sophisticated and harmless poker face, you have a keen sense of humour and are full of surprises. And you like to watch the late night talk shows to put yourself in a funny state of mind before hitting the hay.
- Soufflee — When you show up, people are very happy to see you and when you go to the spa, for eggsample, you get the deluxe, Hollywood celebrity treatment. But you’re also what they call “high-maintenance” and are an eggstremely light sleeper. People have to tippy-toe around you day and night. Any uneggspected noise will wake you up and your sleep will be wrecked till morning. Just remember, if you lighten up, the rest is easy.
- Scrambled — By morning, the sheets and blankets on your bed are disheveled and twisted from all of your kicking and flailing and tossing and turning throughout the night. Your chaotic sleep leads me to think there’s too much stress and drama in your life and you need to go on a vacation to a spa on some tropical island soon. Like now.
- Over-Easy — You start on your back and flip over right before you wake up. You have an easy-going attitude and have more patience than the average bear. You like to sleep in on the weekends and learned the word “snooze button” at an early age. “Just 10 more minutes” is your mantra.
- Free-Range Organic — No pajamas for you. You’re footloose and fancy free. On any given night, you don’t stay on your side of your king-sized bed. You like to travel across the landscape of the bed and maybe even down the hall. A naked sleepwalker? Oh dear :>
- Benedict — I always think of Benedict Arnold, the infamous American traitor, when I see Eggs Benny on the menu. Now I get the connection. You’re a clever pillow and blanket hog and you hide under the cloak of the Hollandaise sauce.
- Quiche — You speak with an accent (maybe a fake one?). You’re pretentious and flaky at the same time, like an actor. You enjoy the finer things in life but are on a limited budget. If that’s the case, home spas are a good way to go.
- Devilled — A party favourite, you get snatched up pretty quick. Whoever heard of left-over devilled eggs? Even if they’re bad they’re good. You have a twinkle in your eye and a prankster nature. You were the one who short-sheeted the beds at summer camp. Your A.D.D. makes it difficult for you to fall asleep for long so you may be prone to taking sleeping pills as a quick fix solution. Try breathing exercises instead. Yeah right.
I hatched this list out of my own imagination so there’s no statistical validity at all. I’m curious if I’ve ruffled any feathers or if I’m on to something here. Have I cracked the case wide open or am I just full of B.S? Let me know what you think.